Candy I Will Never Make Again, Part II

I am pleased to present Act II of Candy I Will Never Make Again. This candy was not planned. We really wanted to make Butterscotch Haystacks. For those of you who have been under a rock, haystacks are made with crunchy chow mein noodles and melted butterscotch chips. After mixing in all up, you drop them into...wait for it, little "haystacks". No, I haven't been drinking but that might help. So, I guess we waited late about getting the chow mein noodles. A week ago we began our search. On Monday my husband visited the 11th grocery store. Sold out again. I had no idea that these little treats were that popular. Maybe it's just the ease of making them, who knows. All I knew was that I had butterscotch chips and nothing to do with them. This afternoon I turned to my husband and said what about popcorn. "For what?" "For the haystacks silly." "Hmm, yeah I guess. You could call them 'popstacks'." After graciously, OK not so graciously, popping my popcorn (I have microwavable popcorn issues) off he goes to his brother's house. Good thing. I had, let's just say a fit, over these stupid little "popstacks".

First of all, my butterscotch would not melt properly. No worries, a little shortening will fix that. No dice. That's weird. Oh well, onward. I should have seen this as a sign to abandon ship immediately and make more fudge. I dumped the glop of hot butterscotch into a big bowl, mixed it up. Everything looked fine so far. Then, I tried to drop it into little balls. OMG!!! It would not stick together. Ok, what am I'm going to do? The captain goes down with the ship right? After several minutes of pleading the popcorn to hold together with my hand and a spoon, I got out my ice cream scooper. I packed the mixture using the back of a spoon and carefully plopped the little domes out. Seemed OK, for about 3 min. Oh well, I got probably a dozen, very fragile, clementine sized mounds.

They are very tasty, buttery and sweet. Not worth it to me though. It probably took 2 years off my life and if you factor in college and working with teenagers everyday I don't have that many more years to waste.

Makes ~1 dozen mounds

11oz butterscotch chips, melted
2 (3.3oz) bags popcorn, popped and cooled.

1. Mix the ingredients together and somehow, magically form little mounds on wax paper. (I used the packed ice cream scoop/pleading method)

Holiday Ribbon Fudge

With every mishap comes a brilliant ray of hope and renewal. Look for my adventures with popstacks and Lebkuchen to be posted soon. That aside, I have found my new favorite thing to make: Fudge. This is not your grandmother's recipe and no, it's not the best you've ever tasted, at least I hope not, but it will make you appear a much better kitchen master than you really are. I recently suggested this to one of my friends that has more kids than time. I swear it only takes about 10 min, not including cooling time.

I was in some grocery store or another a few weeks ago. I never seem to shop at the same one. Anyway, I passed by a center aisle display of holiday baking supplies. I did a double take and walked a few steps backward. One of the condensed milk cans was facing the wrong way and I had glimpsed a recipe on the back. Chocolate and Eagle Brand for fudge? I had never heard of that combination but it started me thinking. It made sense, I mean after all you make ganache with cream and chocolate, hell, even truffles in the right proportions. I had to try it.

I really have no idea what the recipe on the can actually was. Nowadays I usually only glance at the ingredients to decide whether I can make/would like something like that or not. The only thing stuck in my mind was chocolate and sweetened condensed milk. Making cream pies has its benefits. I had 14oz of sweetened condensed milk in my freezer at home. All I needed was the chocolate. I choose milk chocolate thinking that semi-sweet would be too strong. Looking back, semi-sweet would have been fine, especially for fudge lovers.

The day I made my first batch I was in a particularly strong holiday mode. Instead of using all of the milk chocolate that I had purchased for this occasion I opted to festively color some white baking chocolate or almond bark. It's super easy. Just melt down the blocks or chips, drip in some coloring and layer into a wax paper lined baking dish. I have since made some chocolate/peanut butter fudge using this same method. It was a hit. Both batches came out silky and dense with a hint of milky flavor. Below is the recipe for holiday ribbon fudge but feel free to experiment with different flavor combinations.

Makes ~2 lbs of fudge

1 (14oz) can sweetened condensed milk, divided
1 (11oz) bag of milk or semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 (11oz) bag of white chocolate chips
1 tsp vanilla extract, divided
red food coloring
green food coloring
wax paper

1. Line an 8x8" baking dish with wax paper. Set aside.
2. In a small microwave-safe bowl, combine half of the condensed milk and the milk chocolate chips. Don't worry about stirring at this point.
3. Heat for 30 sec intervals in the microwave on HIGH until melted. Stir well after each interval. If the mixture becomes clumpy, add solid vegetable shortening in 1/2 tsp increments until the mixture becomes fluid and glossy.
4. In a separate bowl, repeat for melting the white chocolate.
5. Stir 1/2 tsp vanilla into each bowl.
6. To the white chocolate add 3-4 drops of each food coloring. Stir very slightly (1 or 2 circles of the bowl) with a knife. The colors will ribbon as you pour it into the prepared pan.
7. Begin layering the chocolate mixtures into the prepared dish. Do not stir. Just pour one on top of the other. Keep in mind that the bottom of the dish will be the top of the fudge.
8. Once all chocolate as been poured in, rap the dish on the counter several times to settle the fudge.
9. Cover the surface of the fudge with wax paper.
10. Let cool completely at room temperature, 2-3 hours.
11. Once cooled and set, turn the dish upside down and slowly pull the fudge out using the wax paper to grip.
12. Remove all paper and place the fudge bottom side up on a cutting surface.
13. Cut into small squares.
14. Store covered at room temperature.

My Marshmallow Curiosity

My curiosity got the better of me yesterday. For weeks I had been wondering , "Are home-made marshmallows really THAT good?" An old friend passed along a recipe, a version of the Thomas Keller original, that was tempting but in a back burner kind of way. A few things were against the seemingly inevitable trial: 1. I don't really even like marshmallows. 2. Hot sugar and butter fingers just don't mix. 3. What will I do with 1 ½ lbs of marshmallows once made? Well, if curiosity had killed a cat before, it could definitely wreak my kitchen.

Last night, I spent the better part of 2 hours making, of all things, marshmallows. I'm talking powdered sugar everywhere. Earlier when I had mentioned my plan to my husband he goes, without missing a beat, "You know they sell those for cheap at the store, right?" Yes...but...I don't know; just humor me.

I guess I expected the heavens to open and bliss to rain from the sky. Turns out they were...eh. They tasted exactly like any other marshmallow that I had ever eaten, only ever so slightly softer. It's not the recipe. It was a good recipe and worked beautifully. In my opinion, it was just not worth the trouble. I heeded my friend's advice and cut back the original amount of 1 tbsp vanilla to 2 tsp but it still seemed strong to me. Perhaps go with 1 tsp if you make them and if you really like marshmallows go for it. Come on, you know you're curious.

Makes ~1 ½ lbs, 2-3 dozen depending on size

3 envelopes of unflavored gelatin
½ c. + ¼ c. cold water
2 c. granulated sugar
2/3 c. corn syrup
¼ tsp salt
1 tsp vanilla extract or other flavoring
Powdered sugar for dredging

1. In the bowl of an electric mixer, sprinkle gelatin over ½ c. cold water. Let stand 10 min.
2. Line a 13x9" baking or sheet pan with plastic wrap or foil. Grease thoroughly with vegetable oil. Set aside.
3. In a small saucepan, combine sugar, corn syrup, and remaining ¼ c. water. Bring to a boil and boil hard for 1 min. Do not stir at all once the sugar dissolves.
4. Pour boiling syrup onto gelatin and mix at Low speed for a few seconds then gradually speed up to High. If your mixer is flinging syrup, stay just below that speed until it stops and then turn it up. Do not let mixture cool too much before speeding up to High.
5. Once at High speed, add the salt and beat for 5-12 minutes. It's done when it looks like marshmallow cream and stops increasing in volume.
6. Add vanilla and incorporate into mixture.
7. Scrape into prepared 13x9" pan.
8. Take another piece of greased plastic wrap and press mixture into the pan, smoothing top and spreading evenly. Remove plastic wrap.
9. Let cool in pan for a few hours.
10. Carefully lift out marshmallow slab to work surface.
11. Sift powdered sugar evenly over slab to cover.
12. Cut into equal pieces with scissors, greased pizza cutter, knife, or simple cookie cutters.
13. Dredge each piece of marshmallow in powdered sugar.
14. Store in air tight container.